Another milestone

Tomorrow I start back at work. I know it is only half days for a couple of weeks, but it means I am starting to get back into my life. Sadly the weekend has been full of pain, both the bionic and jealous knees giving lots of trouble. We had hoped to get so much more done this weekend, working towards Wednesday and the visit from the estate agent to value the house.  Never mind i have a couple of afternoons to clean up..

I cannot wait to move into a Bungalow. I still cannot get upstairs to my own bed and instead am still sleeping in a single bed in the dining area of the kitchen. It has been over two months and i am still here. Grrrr

Moving Forward

Well another milestone. I have been signed off to go back to work on a phased return. It has been agreed that i will do part time, i had thought for one week but the doc said for two weeks at least. It is definitely a move back towards normality though.

It is still very difficult to get either leg comfortable at night and there are times when the pain seems to be getting worse not less. I wish i knew if this is because i am not doing enough exercise, or the right sort of exercises, because i am eating too much chocolate - yes there is definitely a chance that is the problem, my sweet tooth has certainly increased since the op, or because there is something else wrong. I see the doc in October so i will try and remember to talk it all through with him.

I still cannot get upstairs but this morning i managed to almost do six each of the exercises physio have given me to ensure i can get up and down soon. A real improvement.

Not sure when i will manage to get the other leg done but it has to be next year because work is not going to be happy if i take time off too quickly. My plan at the moment is to look at having the veins done late next year and the knee the following spring or summer if that can be arranged,

Catching Up

I should have kept this up to date, after all it was supposed to be a before and after.

It is now the middle of September and i had the operation on the 9th July. In that time i have gone from feeling as though i had a lump of meat and not a leg to feeling that there is something not right, not real, about the leg, but no where near the pain i had with the arthritis already.

I can get in and out of the bath for a shower, clean the kitchen, even hang the washing out but i cannot yet get up the stairs. The fault is with my arthritic knee and not my bionic one. Because of the pain the un-operated knee i am unable to progress much further. I am signed off by the physio. He has given me an exercise to do to enable me to get up the stairs. It is probably going to take a couple of weeks. Boring.

This should be my last week on sick leave. With luck i will be signed back on to work so that on Monday i can start back part time.

I have come a long way from that first day. I can still remember how it felt though to get out of bed that first day so i will never take my new knee for granted.

here i go

Well. Seven weeks on and i am walking with one stick in the house and two outside but no more crutches. Yay. I have had several showers - double Yay. I have started to cut down on my drugs in the hopes i can go back to work in a week or so. All in all a very positive progress from flat on my back OW to upright and smiling.

If i ever doubted the efficacy of this op i have fully bought into it now.


I have seen the x-ray of my knew knee.

The feeling is more discomfort than pain now. The other knee is giving me a lot of pain now.

I am managing to sleep for almost three hours now before the knee says move me or else. I manage to get off to sleep alright most nights, though there have been some where i sit for hours waiting for sleep to come, get up at least once to go to the loo and have not slept beyond 7am no matter how many times i get up or how long i listen to my stories in the night to persuade sleep to come back. Most mornings i am up just after 6. I have a good routine going of making my breakfast and wheeling it through to the sitting room. Then i feed the dogs and bring Poppy into the sitting room to eat hers to make sure she actually gets the food and doesn't bite the others. I wash up and tidy the kitchen and tidy the sitting room and have done a little gardening and even managed to hoover the other day.

Then i play with my papercrafts and get glitter everywhere.

I manage not to put the television on until lunch time because day time TV is enough to drive you to alcoholism and leave it even later if i have a good book to read on my kindle or a story to listen to on my ipod.

Getting Better

I have seen the x-rays and can see how much difference this has made to my leg already. The before and after leg length show how much straighter my leg is.

The circulation has caused me more problems than the knee op over the weeks. I am now wearing a stocking to help the circulation and the doc told me in another couple of months the skin will look more normal and less like a dragons scales. It still feels as though i have burnt the skin in a big patch that circles my leg from the ankle to half way up the calf but the swelling is so much less.

The problems i am experiencing now are that it is difficult to sit for any length of time if in a chair other than the one at home. Going out gives problems but not so bad that i am sitting at home.

I would certainly recommend this op for anyone - the pain is soon no more than a bad day before the op. The scar though long is neat and will be nothing at all soon. It is already strong and i know that in another month or so it will be taking over as my good leg giving some respite to my poor right leg which is still riddled with Arthritis and is not used to be so abused and relied on.

Where am i achievement wise? I can wash and dress myself. I can wash my hair and even the bottom of my feet but i cannot yet climb into the bath to have a full shower. I can do some cooking and cleaning and a small amount of gardening. I am getting interested in crafting again.

The pain is still with me. I don't sleep well at night although already i am sleeping a bit better than i was for the first four weeks after the op. I have not managed to get up the stairs, but that is a personal fear and probably nothing at all to do with my knee.

Today is the sixth week anniversary. I am not sure i am doing as well as i could but i am not worried about where i am or how i am feeling. In fact i am surprised that i am feeling as well as I am.

POST OP - Week 1

Day 1 - Because there were no ops on Tuesday morning there was no rush getting us out of the PACU room and back into the ward but eventually myself and the other woman were wheeled into the lovely light room which was to be our home for the rest of our stay. My blood pressure was a little low so i was kept on oxygen for the morning. Physio came at 11.45 to get me out of bed and into the chair. The pain took my breath away and i felt too sick for lunch when it came. The nurse gave me instruction in how to do the injection into my stomach.

Day 2 - had a good nights sleep - still not eating well - have some heartburn probably as a result of all the mucking around. Catheter finally removed. Managed to walk to the toilet with a walking frame and help from a nurse. The pain is still there, but they supply me with pain relief whenever i want and moving my leg was a relief. Physio came to walk me a bit further. I did so well with the frame they took it off me and gave me crutches which are much easier. Had an upset stomach so they moved me to a side room. I didn't like that. I felt left out. Janis came to visit and i asked the nurse if i could be moved back now my stomach was behaving. Was finally moved back to the ward just before 10pm.

Day 3 - Sleep a bit here and there. Quite a bit of pain in the night. Nurses so kind, bringing me cups of tea and liquid morphine when the pain was too bad. Physio spent a lot of time with me today and as the doctors have signed me off (other than the swelling which is getting much worse) i was hoping to go home but i couldn't lift my leg off the bed or bend my leg high enough. Mr T sent me for a scan to make sure no blood clots, but they couldn't see anything because of the amount of fluid in my leg.

Day 4 - Physio are happy with me. Mr T is not. The swelling is bad and not going down. I have appts for scans for Monday and Wednesday and with Mr T on Thursday. I have been signed off on the agreement that i will continue the jabs for 28days not the normal 10 and that i will go to Casualty if anything untoward happens over the weekend.
  J came to pick me up, i think he is glad i am coming home. I tried to walk to the car but was tired as soon as i left the ward so J got a wheelchair and wheeled me down.
  The dogs were certainly pleased to see me home. I was pleased to be under my own roof and reasonably ok.

Day 5 - last night was not a good one. I didn't sleep well due to the warmth and the pain. I put my iPod on and listened to a story in between my dozing. Leg very red and very swollen. The knee feels more like a hinge than a knee, which is a bit disconcerting. We moved the furniture around in the sitting room so that i wouldn't be in anyone's way.

D Day

Well here i am two weeks, nearly three, after the op. I have had the staples out and the dressings off. I have done my exercises and can bend and straighten my new knee. Sounds fantastic doesn't it?

This is how it happened

Monday  - i went into Cannock Hospital at 10am - well 9.30 because i needed some last minute xrays - reported to the ward and everything was smoothly handled from then on. My details were checked, including blood pressure and temp and blood tests. My notes brought up to date I had an identity tag on my wrist and a Hospital gown under my dressing gown and J and i chatted in between the nurses and getting to know the other women on the ward.
  K and the children came and took J off for lunch and i walked through to the aneasthetic room with a nurse. I sat on the edge of the trolley and they gave me a spinal block (not very comfortable probably due to my not sticking my spine out enough). In the operating theatre i was given some light aneasthetic and some fluid in a drip. Although i heard almost all of what went on, and even had a conversation with the aneasthetist about family and looked at photo's of her children, it was a little unreal.
  I was taken through to the post op room, JT had a word as i was pushed past and he told me it had gone well, no complications.
 It was hard to sleep that night because the other woman in the room had had a full general and when she wasn't snoring she was shouting and making a lot of noise. The nurses brought me pain relief and water and eventually tea. They offered toast but i wasn't hungry. I did drink all the water and tea offered though.
 Te embarrassing thing was that the spinal block meant i couldn't tell when i needed to wee and i wet the bed (twice) so i was relieved when they put a catheter in.

Nearly there

After all the years of waiting the day is nearly here when i can have my op. All things being well tomorrow afternoon i start the journey from pain to pain free, from limited to unlimited and from frustration to a level of life. Great.

I have been told the pain is a lot worse than i can imagine - but i know that it is for a short time only. For a number of weeks everything will be worse, then slowly and surely my new knee will feel like a part of me and i will be able to walk without crutches or a walking frame or a stick for that knee.

It is the start of a new me.

I cannot believe it.

There must be a lot of payback i owe someone. Two weeks away from my knee operation and i have an infection in my leg. Went to the doc today and have been put on some antibiotics. I dont know how to feel about it. I was worried that whatever was on the bottom of my legs was spreading and that would be the end of any hope of an operation. I suppose an infection has to be better news than that. Of course i forgot to ask sensible things like should i put it up or not, should i rest it or not. I am certainly more aware of it than before. The fluid sac is growing and there is some discomfort with it now.Lucky i went to see the doctor when i did.

If it delays the operation it wont be the end of the world, just very disappointing. If it turns into something worse and stops the chance of an operation i think it will feel like the end of the world. 

Fingers crossed that it turns out to be just the infection and that the antibiotics clear it up quickly.

Getting Ready

I am supposed to be getting ready for my op, but finding it hard. I want to diet but instead am eating chocolate. 

I have a strange thing happening to my left leg, of course, there seems to be a pocket of fluid forming just below the knee and i am getting the strange feelings i had before all the staining happened at the bottom of my legs. Suppose this means that whatever happened there is trying to happen below the knee, but that is worrying because not sure they will be able to operate if that is what is happening. Its a sign of poor circulation and will put the end to hopes of new knees. will go to see the doc.

Other than that and the increased pain in my right knee i am not doing too badly at the moment. Feel sometimes as though i am covered in ants, bit on edge and edgy. I suppose this is because of the operation hanging over my head. 

Walking is not too bad on good days. i have even felt as though it is getting easier than it has been for a long time. On bad days it is now almost impossible. So sore i have almost been reduced to tears. Never mind. Their days are numbered

Jubilee Weekend

Today the celebrations start. I think the village of Constantine have a lot of things planned including a hog roast and an exhibition of art and clothing from the 50's. Not sure how  many of those we will get a chance to go and look at in between hospital visits.

This morning P looked at Mums calendar with its list of all the things she had planned. Its very sad and a sobering moment - who knows when she will write and complete anything off that calendar again? The doc said yesterday that she is improving but she is back on fluids and intravenous antibiotics and looks frail and small.

Arthritis wise it hasn't been a bad few days. The pain killers appear to be working at the moment, which is always nice, though i am on full strength of some every day now, topped up with full paracetamol. We walked through Truro yesterday. Poor M has it in her hip and is in a lot of pain. The docs in the village have given her some of the pain killers she is on in the States so with luck she will have a better day today.

Yesterday was full sunshine in the late afternoon, hot and pretty. We drove home past the beaches and stopped on Pendennis head for an Ice Cream. P said it was Dads favourite place to stop and i have to admit it is one of mine. We watched the sailing boats and the people walking dogs and a lone fisherman on the rocks and even though there were a lot of people there doing the same thing it didn't matter or intrude.

P rented a car for the rest of her stay. Its a little green Nissan. We laughed when J asked what she had rented because being three not into car women we just said it was an 02 reg with two doors and a Nissan. G or J would have known the mileage and the top speed and how many miles to the gallon. Ha ha.



Nearly forgot. There was a woodpecker on the wall this morning. I have never seen one so close before. I wondered if it was Dad come to tell us he was taking her. Told  him we would rather not. I should have taken a photo but we were too busy chatting.

 this is where i am again today, in the wonderful village of Constantine between Falmouth and Helston. It is sunny and windy and a beautiful day. K and I are here to chivvy Mum into health and out of the Hospital in Truro where she has been for over a week now.

This blog is supposed to be about pain and so here goes.
I experienced a huge amount of pain that lasted over 4 or 5 days pain that stung and meant i couldn't use my right knee without a stick to support me. I thought i was going to have to go to the Hospital to see what was going on because it was a new and all invasive pain but after suffering it from the Wednesday to the following Tuesday in varying degrees, it then went altogether and i was back with just the very faint memory of it.
On Thursday (over a week later) i went to work as usual and the pain was in a good place and i found i was striding out again which i haven't done since the benefits of my Australian Holiday had worn off. I got into the car to drive home and suddenly I was in excruciating pain in my right Knee again. It lasted all evening, so sore and almost burning with pain, that i couldn't walk to the bathroom without using both sticks. As my bedroom is upstairs and the bathroom downstairs and i am a woman of a certain age where a nights sleep always includes at least two trips to the bathroom, i was very worried how i was going to cope. I took pain killers in the evening, which i don't generally do, and it took the edge off but it was still very painful. I survived the night and on Friday morning woke up and the pain was back to its normal level. Go figure.
Anyway it is Saturday now and i am off to see if Trago's have any mattress pads because the bed is soooo hard.

Wet and Windy Cornwall

I am down in Constantine looking after my mother who has a bout of pneumonia which is why it has been a while.

I just had to add a note or two though because i am finding changes in behaviour of my knees (my right knee specifically) are causing me not only a lot of pain but a lot of concern as well.

At the moment, and since Tuesday, i cannot stand still for more than moment before i get pain along the front right side of my right leg from above the knee to mid calf and then my knee gives way very painfully. It is happening all the time now. Manoevering is impossible and i am having to use my sticks more and more.

I am very concerned that this is going to make recovery from my op (when it happens) very difficult. I wont have a good knee to count on.

Yesterday i did a supermarket shop while someone sat with Mum. By half way round i wanted to sit down and just give in to the blackest mood out. The pain is really taking over now. My left leg is sore all the time. If i touch the outside of the leg along the edge of the knee and a little beyond on either side i feel as though i have bruised it. On my right knee the pain is different, more sore when pressed, more aching when used.

Perhaps it is just the weather. Here's hoping.

Moody Saturday

Today is hard. For some reason I have fallen into the trough of self pity. It could be something to do with T's birthday (how did she get to be so old?) but I don't think so. I am not sure what it is but it is hard to crawl out of today.

I should be upstairs this afternoon making some cards, putting together H's book, but I am finding even that hard to do today.

The pain was bad last night and sore today. I know that it is just another day and that the pain isn't going to go away on its own. It is always going to be there until after the operation. I know that so why is it sometimes a surprise to wake in the night and the pain is still there? Perhaps I have had a nice pain free dream that I cannot remember when I wake? Who knows?

Anyway i have played a little with my new dies and that has given some lovely results. I am delighted with them. One is a heart doilly and the other one with circles. Very like the Spellbinders dies but cheaper, and perhaps smaller, i am not sure, i have only seen them on the telly.

There are three sides to my life at the moment

1. Home and Family and Friends and Charlie and Eddie. These are my release, my safety net, always there when needed. I rely on them to be there and accept the realities of life with arthritis. Without them I wouldn't be able to survive. From the simple understanding to the lovely touches of a bunch of flowers, a cup of tea when i need them.
2. Work. I get a lot of understanding there too, but i sometimes think it takes up too much of my life. Instead of playing at making cards and scrap-booking I am in an office sometimes engaged, sometimes frustrated. Guess a lot of us feel like that.
3. My paper-crafting. This replaces walking on the Chase and all the things I did before the pain started to take  over. I love to sit in my room and just play. 

 Ah well I have crawled over the top again. Out of the ditch back in the real world. J will be back in a couple of hours and we will dash round and watch T open her present and share a party meal with her. Grand children are wonderful aren't they?

Friday at last

What a week. Glad to get to the weekend.

Lots of driving on motorways in the rain, not much fun.

Knees are really sore today. Not just aching but sore. The pain killers don't seem to touch that. Perhaps I should up the paracetamol.

I gave a colleague some Glucosamine Sulphate to take as he has been diagnosed with the early signs of Arthritis. I told him that what I have found from taking it is that you don't feel it is doing anything until you stop taking it and then you really notice the difference.

I am still waiting for my letter from the hospital. Today I almost phoned them to ask if the letter had gone astray. Stopped myself in time. I know that I haven't been on the list long enough. It is easy to become impatient when the pain shows no signs of letting up and indeed is changing and surprising me all the time.

There are a lot of people in the country with Arthritis, some mild and some not so mild. There are also a lot of people who have been through the operation and come out the other side, pain free and perhaps even better able to get around.

I am very very busy at work and you and I both know that the busier i get the more chance there is that the appointment will come through and upset a lot of people when they have to take my work load as well as their own. That shouldn't matter i know, but it does.

Sunny Monday

today has been a good day. the pain has been well behaved, no sudden stabs or cramps or aches.

The sun has shone, well it would because its a Monday wouldn't it

Still no letter from the Hospital.

Must remember to ask how long i will have to take off work next time i see anyone.


Taken from the NHS site

Regular reviews


Because osteoarthritis is a long-term condition, you'll be in regular contact with your healthcare. A good relationship with the team means that you can easily discuss your symptoms or concerns. The more the team knows, the more it can help you


There are days when it really matters to me that I don't have the above. I am hoping that going forward the relationship I build with my medical team will be better, more supportive. If, and it is a tiny if, anything goes wrong with this operation then I may end up with less mobility even than now. Horrid thought. No I wont think that in case thinking it makes it happen. No even if the worst happened and the ruddy thing didn't work properly at least the pain would go and that has to be 100per cent better than now doesn't it?

Wet and Windy Sunday

Yesterday being our Wedding Anniversary we had a really lovely dinner at a local hotel/pub/restaurant. The food was delicious and, other than sliding ice cream all over J's trousers and my dress, the waiting on was good too. Lol

This morning is wet (again) and very cold. I have used the pain this creates as an excuse to hide in my craft room rather than do anything like housework.

While in the shower this morning i got a sharp almost toothachey pain in the outside of my left calf and could feel my knee wanted to collapse. I had a sharp word with it and hung on to the sink for a while and the pain and feeling of collapse went.

Need to make three cards today, or at least start them. Ideal day to do it with the weather being as bad as it is.

I don't know that i am ever going to get the apartment or bungalow I would like. Conversation last night was as wishy washy over the subject as ever. If i have both my knees done i am hoping that will mean i can manage the stairs better anyway so perhaps i wont need to worry about not moving after all. I even brought up the idea of selling and renting but he is very against that so if we do go it looks as though it is going to have to be buying somewhere. I think he is still waiting for the Lotto win despite knowing it is never going to happen.

Taken from the Arthritis Care website

Your GP will be your main contact for your treatment. It is

important to develop a good relationship to ensure that you are

given the treatment that is most effective for you.

Don’t be afraid of asking questions if something is not clear. It may

help you to write things down or to take a friend or relative with you.

Doctors are often rushed, but it is important that you make the

most of your consultations. This will help you understand and feel

confident about any treatment you are given.

You and your GP must work together to help you manage your

arthritis and help you live as normal a life as possible. Ultimately,

only you know how you feel and the difficulties you face.

The National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE)

has guidelines for the management of osteoarthritis in England &

Wales. These guidelines should help your doctor support you to

manage your condition.

I have put the above in because i have not had a great relationship with my doctors who were happy to just let me muddle through on my own. They have certainly never been pro-active or given me support. I am sure that i am not the only one to have this problem, there are probably a lot of us out there.
I come from an era that gave great  power to professionals, doctors dentists etc. We did not argue with them or push for what was not offered. My own fault then that i have not got what i should.

Pain is exhausting

Not sure why but there are some days when I feel wrung out and unable to move because the pain has sapped all my energy. Other days when the pain hasn't changed I feel able to cope with anything. Ah well. Ours not to reason why.

Friday

Today the pain is sore, rather like a day old burn. It has  been worst in my left leg with sore cramps down the outside of the leg from the knee down and also a sharp pain in my right leg below the knee in the thigh towards the inside.

Not so much trouble with my knees giving way today, more stable than they have been in quite a while in fact.

Tomorrow we are going in to town. It will be the first time in months and months. I am quite nervous because i dont want to discover how much less i can manage nowadays.

Made a card for our Anniversary, not sure i like it. Have a problem making cards for Janis, no idea why.

Rainy Thursday

Very sore today.

This morning going upstairs to get ready for work my right knee clicked out and back in three times. The first time it was one click and the pain went all the way down the outside of my leg, sharp and sore. The second time it was two clicks and the pain was in front and below my knee cap. The third as i reached the top of the stairs was one click and the soreness was brief and again in front of my knee.

Now that the morning is progressing both knees are very sore. I cannot use my leg rest because of the pain. I have all three blankets on and the soreness is taking over.

Doubts

I suppose it will sound strange but after waiting years and years to be told I can have an op on my knee I find myself doubting whether this is what i really want. Will it give me the pain free life i am hoping for or am i exchanging one pain for another.

Lets look at this seriously. Need to ramble.

At the moment i cannot walk anywhere without a great deal of pain. My knees give way and give a lot of pain when they do it. In fact the doctor asked me what the pain was like last time i went to Stafford Hospital. Hard to explain at the time because i hadn't planned on answering that question so hadn't made any mental notes. I can say now that the pain is different dependant on what makes it give way. Sometimes it clicks and gives a sort of sick sore pain and the knee has not strength. Other times it is a grating feeling as though something has got in the way.
I use two sticks every day and whenever i leave the house. There are times when i have to use a stick in the house and those feel worse than anything else because that is like bringing the outside in, the disability into normal life. Most of the time though i can get around just leaning on things from time to time, like leaning on the back of a chair or the back of a sofa.
When i do housework i have to stop and sit down and let my knees bend (which takes a long long time sometimes) and rest. The rests are becoming more frequent.
Today has actually been a good day. I have driven to MK and back and gone to lots of meetings. Shopping this evening was hard, but then it nearly always is. The rain does not seem to make the pain more difficult to take. Not always sure what does trigger it though i know when it gets too cold in the office i have to put my blankets on my knees and round my neck so cold definitely affects it.
If i have the op what is it going to be like? Is the pain still going to be there or will the new knee take the pain away altogether? Dont think anyone can promise me that, but it is what i am hoping for.
Am i scared of the after the op pain, is that why i cannot settle at the moment?
Am i the coward i always thought i was?

Went to see P last night, with K. P is so positive about the op, sees the change in me since i was offered the option but is that change still there or was it just that i was so pleased to see her? It has been a long time.

This is a very boring and mixed up rant but i feel better for having written it down.

Tomorrow i will be happy about the Op again.  Tomorrow i will know that the future is pain free.

Saturday Night

It has been a while since i wrote in here.

Thinking about the way Arthritis has taken me from where I was to where I am now.

Before it became the problem it is now I worked with Special Needs children in a pre-school. I had 5 children, a house and a garden. My responsibilities were all encompassing. Gardening, housework, cooking, decorating, laundry and the children.

I walked the dogs on the Chase and that gave me a lot of release. There is nothing like walking dogs to give you time to put the world back to where it should be.

When the Arthritis started to bite a little I gave up working with the children. I went to work in a call centre instead.

I didn't give up walking the dogs until I had to but gradually that has gone.

The house work takes a lot longer than it used to, and I admit I put it off a lot. My husband tries, but it is hard to let someone else take over. In fact he has taken over a lot, but not the gardening. I have to leave the house when he is decorating because I wouldn't be able to stop telling him he was doing it wrong.

The pain is changing. It is becoming more obtrusive. I can no longer ignore it.

However the person I was may have gone but the person I have become isn't that bad. I still have a lot of independence. I can do my own shopping, as long as it  isn't a full shop. I can still browse a craft shop! Instead of walking on the Chase I spend my time scrapping and making cards. It doesn't have the same freedom but I get satisfaction out of doing it. Instead of working with children I work with systems, which are just as difficult if not as noisy.

I think I am still the person I was, if not better.

Easter Holiday

Easter Holidays are over now and back to work tomorrow.
I am noticing that each time i go down to Perranporth it takes longer to do the things i did the time before, and the after effects are worse.
On a good day i can walk down to the sea and then back up to the fish and chip shop and from there to the car without too many problems, but it appears there may be fewer good days.
However we went through the Porth and drove through St Agnes to show the children Stippy Stappy and the village. We also managed to get to the Lizard although because the sun was shining the traffic was quite heavy and there were some hairy moments getting back up the narrow bit in the car. The children walked down to the beach and Mum walked up towards the hotel and picked sea spinach. We went up into the village and had a very nice lunch of pastie.
The weather was cold but mostly sunny.
On Monday Mum and i made a couple of birthday cards which was nice.
The pain has been at level 8/10
Sleep not too good because of the pain
Irritation at myself for not being able to do more 11/10.
Drive home has been uncomfortable.

there are a lot of people watching this bird at the Lizard
The Chough is very rare and back nesting there.

Saturday

Made a few Easter Cards today. Might be a bit late to sell them but at least they are made now. Tomorrow i need to make R a retirement card and P a birthday card. What sort of card do you make for someone who is 100? It has to be pretty special i think
Pain wise today is a good day. Had my hair cut this morning and went round Asda so it is a very good day.
The car has been giving problems for days and now has decided to turn itself into a heap of useless tin. the suspension keeps going down and it finally went down never to rise again. It is back at the garage having been towed away but we are off to Cornwall on Thursday and i am panicking a little at the thought we may not get the car back in time.
T came and spent time with me today and we went up into the craft room and she made a lovely card for her G.G.Granny for Easter. Lets just hope we are there to see her open it.
Watching Create and Craft this morning and they had a Spellbinder package on. Really wanted to buy one of them but Easter is going to cost enough money. Have to be a good girl and just "wook".
J suggested yesterday that we opened a craft and coffee shop in Cornwall. That would be great wouldn't it? But then wouldn't it take all the fun out of the craft if you have to do it? At the moment i really love playing and i wouldn't want to lose that side.
It has been a very difficult week pain wise and i am really glad to have got to Saturday and a day of relative peace.
Each week the pain appears to be affecting me more. Is this just because i am looking to get rid of the pain altogether once all the operations are over do you think? Or am i getting weaker? I am certainly tired and a bit down about it all.
Chin up. Look forward to the crafting tomorrow and stop feeling so sorry for yourself.

Worried

So. I am getting more and more worried about how i will cope after the operation. My 'good' knee is giving more and more pain. My understanding from the Hospital is that they will teach me how to get about using my good knee to help the replaced one but if the replaced one is the stronger what the hell do i do then? whoops. Could be falling all over the place.


Took this checklist off the internet. 
 1. A Doctor Whom You Trust
 2. A Treatment Plan With Which You Are Fully Compliant
 3. A Healthy Lifestyle -- Including Exercise, Eating Well, and Sleeping Well
 4. Unshakable Perseverance
 5. A Manageable and Accessible Environment at Home
 6. A Manageable and Accessible Environment at Work
 7. Time for Yourself to Decompress
 8. Someone to Turn to for Emotional Support
 9. The Mindset That "Feeling Sorry for Yourself" Isn't an Option
10. A Hopeful Attitude for the Future


  So. Do I have all this?
 1. I trust my surgeon. Nice chap seems very keen to help me.
 2. I dont actually have a treatment plan, just a repeatable prescription

 3. I eat well but dont excercise enough and sleep is spasmodic, between being woken up by the    knees

 4. I am certainly trying not to let it beat me

 5. Home is becoming more fiend than friend. My problem. 

 6. Work is ok. I have leeway to move when i need, to take time off when it flares and to work from home when i cannot drive

 7. I have my card craft

 8 .Emotional support is the hard one. There are people i can talk to but the one person who should be there is the one who cannot cope with it.

 9. I allow myself a Poor Me moment once every three months or so. Gets it out of the way.

10 .My operation will give me a whole new lease on life. 

There are a lot of people out there in the big bad world with more pain, less hope, less chance of change than i have. People with no friends or family to support them. People with no positive attitude to bolster them. I am lucky in so many ways. 

I hope i always remember that. 

this is a knee with osteoarthritis.

I have seen my x-rays but not sure they looked like this, certainly they didn't have all these pretty colours.

Changing Pain

Wow the pain is changing again. A couple of weekends ago it was all along my right leg, mostly the back of the leg both the calf and the thigh. It was almost impossible to find a comfortable position for that leg. The knee felt swollen inside and the leg itself hard and uncomfortable.
Today i banged my knee, not hard, against my Scottie as i was going  upstairs. It gave me a bit of a twinge at the time but then it seemed to settle down. My son gave me a lift to the supermarket and although painful i was ok. When i got out of the car at work though my knee went into melt down mode and it took me a long time to walk it out of it to a point where i was comfortable.
Now the pain is spreading through the leg again and it is amazingly uncomfortable.
As this blog is a charting of my progress from pain to no pain i think today is one of those landmark days i will look back on from the other side of my op and be happy it is all over.

Spring has Sprung

What a lovely day. England at its best. Despite the cold the sunshine brings out all the best of the spring blossoms. I love Spring. Full of hope and light and the start of colours.
Arthritis pain has its ups and downs today. This morning it was bad, at Lunchtime it calmed down and then the late afternoon saw it back up to biting level again.
Warned my boss today that the length of time i need to recover after the operation may be longer than i had hoped. Seems you cannot drive for about 3 months. Ah well i am sure i will find a way.
If this year works out the way it might then i could spend a lot of it recovering from various ops, one knee, one varicose vein, other knee. Yay
Having a problem with the diet again. Had fruit salad and fat free yoghurt for breakfast, very good, followed by a pain au chocolat, very bad. For lunch i had chilli and rice and vegetables, very good, followed by yoghurt, very good, very good. For dinner the veg from last nights dinner and cold roast beef, very good. followed by cheesecake and ice cream. Very very very bad.
Yesterday was such a lovely day. I am very lucky to have such a family. I guess that is the balance of life. For having the best of families i balance that with the pain. Not a bad balance all taken into consideration.

Mothers Day

On Wednesday night i went to visit the Hospital where i will be having the op. Sort of an introduction to knee replacement evening. It was a good evening. Talks from physio and occupational therapists on what to expect and how to get the most out of the knee replacement operation. There was a woman there who had already experienced a lot of replacement surgery, great to hear from someone who has already been through it all and come out the other side. Also had chat about the op, what to expect in the Hospital, the anesthesiology etc..
It has made me realise there are going to be a lot of things i am not going to be able to cope with in this house when i first come out of hospital. One thing is the bathroom. At the moment i can climb in and out of the bath to take a shower, but after the op my only sound leg is going to be out of action.
Then there is the bed upstairs and the bathroom downstairs thats going to be a pain for a while far too many stairs.
still i am a lot better pain wise this week than i was last. Even a day and night at a conference haven't hit the pain levels i was experiencing last weekend. No idea what that was about, never felt so uncomfortable.
The pain is getting worse i think, or perhaps it is changing. Whatever it is more restricting now than it has ever been and my sleep patterns are changing because of it. I force myself to stay in bed until after 6 but it is getting harder to do.
Today is Mothers day and i have heard from the children by text or in person. I love my family so much and i love our Sunday dinners when we all get together. Sad that my eldest son and his wife and son are too far away just to pop in and join us for the roast beef but I will have spent time with all the others before the day ends.
Today i am a woman of numbers again. Mother of 5 and daughter number 3 to my own Mother.

A bad Day on Saturday

woke in the night and knew Saturday was not going to be the wonderful start to the weekend i had been hoping for. Managed to doze a lot and had some odd dreams, one of which had me waking in a panic when the alarm didn't go off at 6.30. Took a while to realise why it hadn't gone off.
As those in pain know anything on flare up day is a chore in more ways than one. I was determined not to give in and waste a day off so i managed to clean the kitchen and dust the sitting room and give the bathroom a bit of a spit and polish and crawled upstairs and dressed and played, for a short time, on a small scrapbook about my youngest grandson, Harry.
This afternoon i watched Breaking Dawn with my daughter and granddaughter but the pain became worse and worse and despite the full pain killers is still affecting me as i approach another bed time.
When i am bionic and without pain i will look back, i hope, at these days and thank my lucky stars that they are over.

A day of Thought

Today started really well. I felt that after the first thing in the morning stiffness i might actually have a far better day than  i have had for a while. I did my exercises - trying to straighten my knees by stretching the muscles in the back of my knee. I have to put my feet up on the foot rest and press down on my knees. Hurts like hell. The doc said it would hurt at the back of the knee but actually it kills the whole knee. Going to do it though because he says it will be worse if he has to try and straighten it when i have the op.
As well as the arthritis in both my knees i have it in my neck as well. A prolapse. Asthma. Varicose veins and some silly skin thing on my legs that makes them look stained.
Despite all that i think i am a generally healthy person.
This is the first year i have had a lot of time off with the pain.
Proud of that.
I wonder if i would give up work if i had a reasonable Lotto win? Not the big millions but perhaps enough to pay off this mortgage and buy myself the bungalow i keep going on about? I like the interaction and using my brain but i am not sure i wouldn't give in to the temptation to play at scrapping and card making full time if i could afford it.

This blog is to be my experience of before and after my knee replacement operation. A chance for me to chart the change to my life.
I am going to write when something matters or happens or occurs to me.
I want to make sure that when i, in my new bionic state, am pain free and back to walking the dogs on Cannock Chase, without sticks, I can remember what it was like before the operation and never take anything for granted.
I have been crippled with Arthritis for the past 10 years and am now on two sticks and in a lot of pain every day. Up until last year I thought there was going to get less and less colour in my life and the pain would become more and more to the front of my life. But then i was told i could have one knee replaced. Yay Yay Yay. I am on a waiting list.
I am trying to lose weight because i am not a small woman and i want this operation to be a success. I am trying not to make plans but its hard not to.
There are a lot of people in this world who live every single day in pain. Who never complain. Who never expect special treatment.
I am not one of those.
I whinge
I shout
I swear
I might even give in to a tear or two from time to time.