today has been a good day. the pain has been well behaved, no sudden stabs or cramps or aches.
The sun has shone, well it would because its a Monday wouldn't it
Still no letter from the Hospital.
Must remember to ask how long i will have to take off work next time i see anyone.
Taken from the NHS site
Regular reviews
Because osteoarthritis is a long-term condition, you'll be in regular contact with your healthcare. A good relationship with the team means that you can easily discuss your symptoms or concerns. The more the team knows, the more it can help you
There are days when it really matters to me that I don't have the above. I am hoping that going forward the relationship I build with my medical team will be better, more supportive. If, and it is a tiny if, anything goes wrong with this operation then I may end up with less mobility even than now. Horrid thought. No I wont think that in case thinking it makes it happen. No even if the worst happened and the ruddy thing didn't work properly at least the pain would go and that has to be 100per cent better than now doesn't it?
Dance
Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Wet and Windy Sunday
Yesterday being our Wedding Anniversary we had a really lovely dinner at a local hotel/pub/restaurant. The food was delicious and, other than sliding ice cream all over J's trousers and my dress, the waiting on was good too. Lol
This morning is wet (again) and very cold. I have used the pain this creates as an excuse to hide in my craft room rather than do anything like housework.
While in the shower this morning i got a sharp almost toothachey pain in the outside of my left calf and could feel my knee wanted to collapse. I had a sharp word with it and hung on to the sink for a while and the pain and feeling of collapse went.
Need to make three cards today, or at least start them. Ideal day to do it with the weather being as bad as it is.
I don't know that i am ever going to get the apartment or bungalow I would like. Conversation last night was as wishy washy over the subject as ever. If i have both my knees done i am hoping that will mean i can manage the stairs better anyway so perhaps i wont need to worry about not moving after all. I even brought up the idea of selling and renting but he is very against that so if we do go it looks as though it is going to have to be buying somewhere. I think he is still waiting for the Lotto win despite knowing it is never going to happen.
I have put the above in because i have not had a great relationship with my doctors who were happy to just let me muddle through on my own. They have certainly never been pro-active or given me support. I am sure that i am not the only one to have this problem, there are probably a lot of us out there.
I come from an era that gave great power to professionals, doctors dentists etc. We did not argue with them or push for what was not offered. My own fault then that i have not got what i should.
This morning is wet (again) and very cold. I have used the pain this creates as an excuse to hide in my craft room rather than do anything like housework.
While in the shower this morning i got a sharp almost toothachey pain in the outside of my left calf and could feel my knee wanted to collapse. I had a sharp word with it and hung on to the sink for a while and the pain and feeling of collapse went.
Need to make three cards today, or at least start them. Ideal day to do it with the weather being as bad as it is.
I don't know that i am ever going to get the apartment or bungalow I would like. Conversation last night was as wishy washy over the subject as ever. If i have both my knees done i am hoping that will mean i can manage the stairs better anyway so perhaps i wont need to worry about not moving after all. I even brought up the idea of selling and renting but he is very against that so if we do go it looks as though it is going to have to be buying somewhere. I think he is still waiting for the Lotto win despite knowing it is never going to happen.
Taken from the Arthritis Care website
Your GP will be your main contact for your treatment. It is
important to develop a good relationship to ensure that you are
given the treatment that is most effective for you.
Don’t be afraid of asking questions if something is not clear. It may
help you to write things down or to take a friend or relative with you.
Doctors are often rushed, but it is important that you make the
most of your consultations. This will help you understand and feel
confident about any treatment you are given.
You and your GP must work together to help you manage your
arthritis and help you live as normal a life as possible. Ultimately,
only you know how you feel and the difficulties you face.
The National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE)
has guidelines for the management of osteoarthritis in England &
Wales. These guidelines should help your doctor support you to
manage your condition.
I have put the above in because i have not had a great relationship with my doctors who were happy to just let me muddle through on my own. They have certainly never been pro-active or given me support. I am sure that i am not the only one to have this problem, there are probably a lot of us out there.
I come from an era that gave great power to professionals, doctors dentists etc. We did not argue with them or push for what was not offered. My own fault then that i have not got what i should.
Friday, 27 April 2012
Pain is exhausting
Not sure why but there are some days when I feel wrung out and unable to move because the pain has sapped all my energy.
Other days when the pain hasn't changed I feel able to cope with anything.
Ah well. Ours not to reason why.
Friday
Today the pain is sore, rather like a day old burn. It has been worst in my left leg with sore cramps down the outside of the leg from the knee down and also a sharp pain in my right leg below the knee in the thigh towards the inside.
Not so much trouble with my knees giving way today, more stable than they have been in quite a while in fact.
Tomorrow we are going in to town. It will be the first time in months and months. I am quite nervous because i dont want to discover how much less i can manage nowadays.
Made a card for our Anniversary, not sure i like it. Have a problem making cards for Janis, no idea why.
Not so much trouble with my knees giving way today, more stable than they have been in quite a while in fact.
Tomorrow we are going in to town. It will be the first time in months and months. I am quite nervous because i dont want to discover how much less i can manage nowadays.
Made a card for our Anniversary, not sure i like it. Have a problem making cards for Janis, no idea why.
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Rainy Thursday
Very sore today.
This morning going upstairs to get ready for work my right knee clicked out and back in three times. The first time it was one click and the pain went all the way down the outside of my leg, sharp and sore. The second time it was two clicks and the pain was in front and below my knee cap. The third as i reached the top of the stairs was one click and the soreness was brief and again in front of my knee.
Now that the morning is progressing both knees are very sore. I cannot use my leg rest because of the pain. I have all three blankets on and the soreness is taking over.
This morning going upstairs to get ready for work my right knee clicked out and back in three times. The first time it was one click and the pain went all the way down the outside of my leg, sharp and sore. The second time it was two clicks and the pain was in front and below my knee cap. The third as i reached the top of the stairs was one click and the soreness was brief and again in front of my knee.
Now that the morning is progressing both knees are very sore. I cannot use my leg rest because of the pain. I have all three blankets on and the soreness is taking over.
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Doubts
I suppose it will sound strange but after waiting years and years to be told I can have an op on my knee I find myself doubting whether this is what i really want. Will it give me the pain free life i am hoping for or am i exchanging one pain for another.
Lets look at this seriously. Need to ramble.
At the moment i cannot walk anywhere without a great deal of pain. My knees give way and give a lot of pain when they do it. In fact the doctor asked me what the pain was like last time i went to Stafford Hospital. Hard to explain at the time because i hadn't planned on answering that question so hadn't made any mental notes. I can say now that the pain is different dependant on what makes it give way. Sometimes it clicks and gives a sort of sick sore pain and the knee has not strength. Other times it is a grating feeling as though something has got in the way.
I use two sticks every day and whenever i leave the house. There are times when i have to use a stick in the house and those feel worse than anything else because that is like bringing the outside in, the disability into normal life. Most of the time though i can get around just leaning on things from time to time, like leaning on the back of a chair or the back of a sofa.
When i do housework i have to stop and sit down and let my knees bend (which takes a long long time sometimes) and rest. The rests are becoming more frequent.
Today has actually been a good day. I have driven to MK and back and gone to lots of meetings. Shopping this evening was hard, but then it nearly always is. The rain does not seem to make the pain more difficult to take. Not always sure what does trigger it though i know when it gets too cold in the office i have to put my blankets on my knees and round my neck so cold definitely affects it.
If i have the op what is it going to be like? Is the pain still going to be there or will the new knee take the pain away altogether? Dont think anyone can promise me that, but it is what i am hoping for.
Am i scared of the after the op pain, is that why i cannot settle at the moment?
Am i the coward i always thought i was?
Went to see P last night, with K. P is so positive about the op, sees the change in me since i was offered the option but is that change still there or was it just that i was so pleased to see her? It has been a long time.
This is a very boring and mixed up rant but i feel better for having written it down.
Tomorrow i will be happy about the Op again. Tomorrow i will know that the future is pain free.
Lets look at this seriously. Need to ramble.
At the moment i cannot walk anywhere without a great deal of pain. My knees give way and give a lot of pain when they do it. In fact the doctor asked me what the pain was like last time i went to Stafford Hospital. Hard to explain at the time because i hadn't planned on answering that question so hadn't made any mental notes. I can say now that the pain is different dependant on what makes it give way. Sometimes it clicks and gives a sort of sick sore pain and the knee has not strength. Other times it is a grating feeling as though something has got in the way.
I use two sticks every day and whenever i leave the house. There are times when i have to use a stick in the house and those feel worse than anything else because that is like bringing the outside in, the disability into normal life. Most of the time though i can get around just leaning on things from time to time, like leaning on the back of a chair or the back of a sofa.
When i do housework i have to stop and sit down and let my knees bend (which takes a long long time sometimes) and rest. The rests are becoming more frequent.
Today has actually been a good day. I have driven to MK and back and gone to lots of meetings. Shopping this evening was hard, but then it nearly always is. The rain does not seem to make the pain more difficult to take. Not always sure what does trigger it though i know when it gets too cold in the office i have to put my blankets on my knees and round my neck so cold definitely affects it.
If i have the op what is it going to be like? Is the pain still going to be there or will the new knee take the pain away altogether? Dont think anyone can promise me that, but it is what i am hoping for.
Am i scared of the after the op pain, is that why i cannot settle at the moment?
Am i the coward i always thought i was?
Went to see P last night, with K. P is so positive about the op, sees the change in me since i was offered the option but is that change still there or was it just that i was so pleased to see her? It has been a long time.
This is a very boring and mixed up rant but i feel better for having written it down.
Tomorrow i will be happy about the Op again. Tomorrow i will know that the future is pain free.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Saturday Night
It has been a while since i wrote in here.
Thinking about the way Arthritis has taken me from where I was to where I am now.
Before it became the problem it is now I worked with Special Needs children in a pre-school. I had 5 children, a house and a garden. My responsibilities were all encompassing. Gardening, housework, cooking, decorating, laundry and the children.
I walked the dogs on the Chase and that gave me a lot of release. There is nothing like walking dogs to give you time to put the world back to where it should be.
When the Arthritis started to bite a little I gave up working with the children. I went to work in a call centre instead.
I didn't give up walking the dogs until I had to but gradually that has gone.
The house work takes a lot longer than it used to, and I admit I put it off a lot. My husband tries, but it is hard to let someone else take over. In fact he has taken over a lot, but not the gardening. I have to leave the house when he is decorating because I wouldn't be able to stop telling him he was doing it wrong.
The pain is changing. It is becoming more obtrusive. I can no longer ignore it.
However the person I was may have gone but the person I have become isn't that bad. I still have a lot of independence. I can do my own shopping, as long as it isn't a full shop. I can still browse a craft shop! Instead of walking on the Chase I spend my time scrapping and making cards. It doesn't have the same freedom but I get satisfaction out of doing it. Instead of working with children I work with systems, which are just as difficult if not as noisy.
I think I am still the person I was, if not better.
Thinking about the way Arthritis has taken me from where I was to where I am now.
Before it became the problem it is now I worked with Special Needs children in a pre-school. I had 5 children, a house and a garden. My responsibilities were all encompassing. Gardening, housework, cooking, decorating, laundry and the children.
I walked the dogs on the Chase and that gave me a lot of release. There is nothing like walking dogs to give you time to put the world back to where it should be.
When the Arthritis started to bite a little I gave up working with the children. I went to work in a call centre instead.
I didn't give up walking the dogs until I had to but gradually that has gone.
The house work takes a lot longer than it used to, and I admit I put it off a lot. My husband tries, but it is hard to let someone else take over. In fact he has taken over a lot, but not the gardening. I have to leave the house when he is decorating because I wouldn't be able to stop telling him he was doing it wrong.
The pain is changing. It is becoming more obtrusive. I can no longer ignore it.
However the person I was may have gone but the person I have become isn't that bad. I still have a lot of independence. I can do my own shopping, as long as it isn't a full shop. I can still browse a craft shop! Instead of walking on the Chase I spend my time scrapping and making cards. It doesn't have the same freedom but I get satisfaction out of doing it. Instead of working with children I work with systems, which are just as difficult if not as noisy.
I think I am still the person I was, if not better.
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Easter Holiday
Easter Holidays are over now and back to work tomorrow.
I am noticing that each time i go down to Perranporth it takes longer to do the things i did the time before, and the after effects are worse.
On a good day i can walk down to the sea and then back up to the fish and chip shop and from there to the car without too many problems, but it appears there may be fewer good days.
However we went through the Porth and drove through St Agnes to show the children Stippy Stappy and the village. We also managed to get to the Lizard although because the sun was shining the traffic was quite heavy and there were some hairy moments getting back up the narrow bit in the car. The children walked down to the beach and Mum walked up towards the hotel and picked sea spinach. We went up into the village and had a very nice lunch of pastie.
The weather was cold but mostly sunny.
On Monday Mum and i made a couple of birthday cards which was nice.
The pain has been at level 8/10
Sleep not too good because of the pain
Irritation at myself for not being able to do more 11/10.
Drive home has been uncomfortable.
I am noticing that each time i go down to Perranporth it takes longer to do the things i did the time before, and the after effects are worse.
On a good day i can walk down to the sea and then back up to the fish and chip shop and from there to the car without too many problems, but it appears there may be fewer good days.
However we went through the Porth and drove through St Agnes to show the children Stippy Stappy and the village. We also managed to get to the Lizard although because the sun was shining the traffic was quite heavy and there were some hairy moments getting back up the narrow bit in the car. The children walked down to the beach and Mum walked up towards the hotel and picked sea spinach. We went up into the village and had a very nice lunch of pastie.
The weather was cold but mostly sunny.
On Monday Mum and i made a couple of birthday cards which was nice.
The pain has been at level 8/10
Sleep not too good because of the pain
Irritation at myself for not being able to do more 11/10.
Drive home has been uncomfortable.
| there are a lot of people watching this bird at the Lizard The Chough is very rare and back nesting there. |
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