this is where i am again today, in the wonderful village of Constantine between Falmouth and Helston. It is sunny and windy and a beautiful day. K and I are here to chivvy Mum into health and out of the Hospital in Truro where she has been for over a week now.

This blog is supposed to be about pain and so here goes.
I experienced a huge amount of pain that lasted over 4 or 5 days pain that stung and meant i couldn't use my right knee without a stick to support me. I thought i was going to have to go to the Hospital to see what was going on because it was a new and all invasive pain but after suffering it from the Wednesday to the following Tuesday in varying degrees, it then went altogether and i was back with just the very faint memory of it.
On Thursday (over a week later) i went to work as usual and the pain was in a good place and i found i was striding out again which i haven't done since the benefits of my Australian Holiday had worn off. I got into the car to drive home and suddenly I was in excruciating pain in my right Knee again. It lasted all evening, so sore and almost burning with pain, that i couldn't walk to the bathroom without using both sticks. As my bedroom is upstairs and the bathroom downstairs and i am a woman of a certain age where a nights sleep always includes at least two trips to the bathroom, i was very worried how i was going to cope. I took pain killers in the evening, which i don't generally do, and it took the edge off but it was still very painful. I survived the night and on Friday morning woke up and the pain was back to its normal level. Go figure.
Anyway it is Saturday now and i am off to see if Trago's have any mattress pads because the bed is soooo hard.

Wet and Windy Cornwall

I am down in Constantine looking after my mother who has a bout of pneumonia which is why it has been a while.

I just had to add a note or two though because i am finding changes in behaviour of my knees (my right knee specifically) are causing me not only a lot of pain but a lot of concern as well.

At the moment, and since Tuesday, i cannot stand still for more than moment before i get pain along the front right side of my right leg from above the knee to mid calf and then my knee gives way very painfully. It is happening all the time now. Manoevering is impossible and i am having to use my sticks more and more.

I am very concerned that this is going to make recovery from my op (when it happens) very difficult. I wont have a good knee to count on.

Yesterday i did a supermarket shop while someone sat with Mum. By half way round i wanted to sit down and just give in to the blackest mood out. The pain is really taking over now. My left leg is sore all the time. If i touch the outside of the leg along the edge of the knee and a little beyond on either side i feel as though i have bruised it. On my right knee the pain is different, more sore when pressed, more aching when used.

Perhaps it is just the weather. Here's hoping.

Moody Saturday

Today is hard. For some reason I have fallen into the trough of self pity. It could be something to do with T's birthday (how did she get to be so old?) but I don't think so. I am not sure what it is but it is hard to crawl out of today.

I should be upstairs this afternoon making some cards, putting together H's book, but I am finding even that hard to do today.

The pain was bad last night and sore today. I know that it is just another day and that the pain isn't going to go away on its own. It is always going to be there until after the operation. I know that so why is it sometimes a surprise to wake in the night and the pain is still there? Perhaps I have had a nice pain free dream that I cannot remember when I wake? Who knows?

Anyway i have played a little with my new dies and that has given some lovely results. I am delighted with them. One is a heart doilly and the other one with circles. Very like the Spellbinders dies but cheaper, and perhaps smaller, i am not sure, i have only seen them on the telly.

There are three sides to my life at the moment

1. Home and Family and Friends and Charlie and Eddie. These are my release, my safety net, always there when needed. I rely on them to be there and accept the realities of life with arthritis. Without them I wouldn't be able to survive. From the simple understanding to the lovely touches of a bunch of flowers, a cup of tea when i need them.
2. Work. I get a lot of understanding there too, but i sometimes think it takes up too much of my life. Instead of playing at making cards and scrap-booking I am in an office sometimes engaged, sometimes frustrated. Guess a lot of us feel like that.
3. My paper-crafting. This replaces walking on the Chase and all the things I did before the pain started to take  over. I love to sit in my room and just play. 

 Ah well I have crawled over the top again. Out of the ditch back in the real world. J will be back in a couple of hours and we will dash round and watch T open her present and share a party meal with her. Grand children are wonderful aren't they?

Friday at last

What a week. Glad to get to the weekend.

Lots of driving on motorways in the rain, not much fun.

Knees are really sore today. Not just aching but sore. The pain killers don't seem to touch that. Perhaps I should up the paracetamol.

I gave a colleague some Glucosamine Sulphate to take as he has been diagnosed with the early signs of Arthritis. I told him that what I have found from taking it is that you don't feel it is doing anything until you stop taking it and then you really notice the difference.

I am still waiting for my letter from the hospital. Today I almost phoned them to ask if the letter had gone astray. Stopped myself in time. I know that I haven't been on the list long enough. It is easy to become impatient when the pain shows no signs of letting up and indeed is changing and surprising me all the time.

There are a lot of people in the country with Arthritis, some mild and some not so mild. There are also a lot of people who have been through the operation and come out the other side, pain free and perhaps even better able to get around.

I am very very busy at work and you and I both know that the busier i get the more chance there is that the appointment will come through and upset a lot of people when they have to take my work load as well as their own. That shouldn't matter i know, but it does.